My name is Brianna. I'm a senior at Opportunity University, studying exercise science. I also have a double minor as well as two certificates. I'm heavily involved on campus. Since high school I've been outgoing. A big part of it is that I'm always trying to find new growth opportunities and step outside my comfort zone. I read the University Announcer every day and if there's something in there that makes me go, "Oh, that sounds interesting," I'll go to it, try to be a part of it, or see if I can learn something new. I had been a Community Assistant (CA) for about four years, and I'm currently working another campus job. I've also worked for orientation here on campus. I’ve been part of a bunch of different clubs. Right now, I'm the vice president of my sorority, as well as the public relations for a christian club. I feel like that's me in a nutshell at least here at Opportunity University.

I transferred to Opportunity University spring of 2019. I was working three jobs, and commuting and that was like the one time I had secured, "Alright, you're gonna eat." I made sure I ate because I was working at a convenience store. I felt it was super easy to get burnt-out during the semester, because I'm worrying about that. Honestly, I feel like one of the only times I wasn't food insecure is, apart from being in RA, the fact that I went one semester, I believe, that was when I transferred here. I was also a CA, and that's also when I started my job in orientation too, so, it was just a lot going on.

I had always heard about the university pantry, but it was like one of those things where I was just like, "Oh, I'll find it some other way." In my head there were always people who are gonna be more in need than me, and I didn't wanna take away from, or take advantage of a resource that I felt as though other people needed more than me. I started using the university pantry in 2021. I believe it was the spring when I moved in with my line sister, Yasmin. So, after I had left being a CA in the fall of 2020 I was back to commuting. I don't think I was working yet. So, I was relying a lot on my parents and other stuff like that. A lot of that time I would stay on campus just having these huge gaps, where I was like, "Okay, well, I feel like it's redundant to go back home and come back," 'cause it's not that close, but it's also not that far. My parent’s divorce was very fresh, and it still wasn't finalized. It was very clear that they were separated and everything. No matter who I stayed with, there was always some drama that was attached to it, and I told them "Yo, I can't do this, this is too much". Between the intensity of  the divorce and all the other issues, not only was I mentally exhausted from playing therapist for my family, but having to be a CA, and have your own room, and then to go back home and not have a room, or having to share everything was very difficult for me. I mean, growing up, my brother and I had to share a room. So, it wasn't that big of a deal. But, obviously, I'm older now and then to share a room with the opposite sex? Yeah, no. I'm good. I wasn't trying to do that. I couldn’t stay with other family members because they either stay with my grandma, or live out-of-state. I really had nowhere to go. I was working, and I was researching if I had enough money to move out. I was in no place to  move out on my own. So, for a couple of nights, I would tell them that… I was at Opportunity University, but really I was like sleeping in my car, or I would crash at my old staff friends’ place, one of the CAs. I would stay in their single room for a couple of nights and stuff like that. Long story short, it was just, either drama or the fact that they didn't really have a full place for me to stay, really just resulted in me saying, "Alright, I'm gonna just go with my line sister, Yasmin, because she needs housing too." She was gracious enough to let me stay in her room, even though I was supposed to buy and have a whole bedroom inside the apartment. We stayed in that one room together, and even though it was basically the same as if I were to go home, and have to share everything, it was just for peace of mind. Which to me is worth a lot more than the money. I told my parents, "I'll work and do whatever I gotta do, but I need my mind to be right, and it’s just all over the place, when I'm staying with either of you."

Yasmin told me about the university fresh vegetables program. She really put me on it. I would see their ads all the time for years, like in the Opportunity University Announcer, and especially with them needing volunteers. But I didn't start going till this summer with Yasmin. She was always the one to go and pick it up. We went to the university fresh vegetables program a couple of times, but we were just going late, so, by the time we went there it was like stuff I personally didn't even really know how to cook. Yasmin had left the box out and there were flies everywhere on the food, and I was like, "Oh my Lord, you just wasted all that food and we can't eat it now." So, I've never actually been there, like I've seen it driving by, and I know what it looks like, but she was the one that actually went and got the produce, but I believe she only went there like twice, because I was telling her "Stop going if you're not gonna actually eat, and cook the stuff," because that's counterproductive. You're wasting the food. I feel like a big part of it was just how I was raised. I knew we weren't rich, but, it was really just one of those things, there's always gonna be someone less fortunate than you, and just like, my whole family's super active in the church, and we spent hours, days, in the church. So, we were always giving back to people who had less than us, or may like, appearance wise, were in a worse situation than us, or needed more help. Because my parents have also struggled in that regard, they really just instilled in myself and my brother to always remain humble and to always give back. So, we were constantly serving in the church doing a lot of mission work and through that experience I've always just kinda had this lens of, "Your situation is not the worst in the world. Also to really just be humble, and have gratitude."

During the summer,  if anybody goes to use the university pantry it's not as stocked. So, it was a little bit hard in that regard, but I feel like with food insecurity  it's honestly been a problem for my family. A great majority of my life we've been able to get by, but there were definitely a bunch of times, you just go hungry and you're just sleeping hungry.  My mom and dad would, when they were together, would try to ask my grandparents for money and stuff like that, but because of it a lot of times we were just eating junk, and not really eating the most ideal things. Trying to make snacks stretch and stuff like that. 

Over the summer I was taking summer classes, and it was just one of those things, constantly on my mind during work, if I could get enough food. Over the summer I worked at the Boys and Girls Club and all the food there, it's really for the kids, everything's for the kids, they're very strict about making sure the meal counts are what they're supposed to be. I might get a snack, but it was just, impacting my grades because, I'm like, "Alright, well, I don't, I can't focus, because I don't have any energy, 'cause I'm not eating."  I would just have no energy to really do my work, 'cause I'm already rundown from working 10 hours a day, at the Boys and Girls Club, Monday through Friday, and then whatever else they needed me to do, to come in on the weekend, while at the same time, working for admissions in the summer.

I was like, "I don't wanna waste gas and I didn't really have anywhere that I knew of to eat. I couldn't really afford the food on campus, I couldn't afford a meal plan, none of that stuff." So I remembered university pantry and everything like that, so, it started off I was just like going there to grab snacks here and there, and then eventually I was grabbing stuff that you could actually cook, and I would either bring it home for my family, or I would find one of my friends who was a CA, with an apartment and cook it there. I would say that went on for most of spring 2021. So, I would say a good five months.

In my head it was just, "Okay, I might not have money this week, but I know I'll get it next week." So, it was the need for meals was constantly on and off, it was constant for my family, but me myself, I knew if I was on campus at Opportunity University, whether in between classes as a commuter, or actually staying there as a CA, I knew if it was tight this week, next week will probably be better due to the whole biweekly checks thing. I would always try to take out a portion of my money that wasn't going to tuition, and save it for food. A big part of just feeling undeserving was I would pass by university pantry, or I would hear people talk of university pantry, and talk about how there just wasn't a lot of stuff in there, and people were constantly asking people to donate to the university pantry.

My dad was actually unemployed since the summer of 2022 and the fall. So, when I did start staying with him, it was hard to go there and know that he hasn't been eating that well, if at all. I would have to constantly call him and be like, "Hey, are you eating," he also works in a school. So, when I went home in December, finally coming back from everything,  I saw his fridge was literally empty. All he had in there was condiments, and I'm just like, "What have you been eating?" and he said, "Oh my fraternity brothers have been taking care of me," or "I'm getting food here, I'm getting food there," but not really a clear constant source, and that broke my heart. I mean, it's not really the first time I've seen him go through that, but it was just like, "Okay, now there's two of us here, and I'm not a CA anymore," I'm just admissions and to work for admissions you don't have to be on campus, but I would have to commute there, and I didn't have a car at the time. So, "How are we about to do this?"

September of 2023 I stopped using the university pantry. I just never really thought about it and then also, when I'm on campus even as a commuter again. My friend, who's a CA, has really been helping me out. She doesn't really use the meal plan , she prefers to cook her own meals. So, if she cooks something, she'll either let me have some,  or she'll give me a meal swipe. Also with my dad having a job now, I try to make sure that before I leave the house that I have a packed lunch, 'cause sometimes I don't know if I'm gonna have to stay the night, and some stuff, and, with my admission's job, I'll put aside a weekly allowance, that'll be dedicated to strictly food. Now, on my end, I have to do a better job, because I really like the local Bubble Tea Shop, and it's super expensive, and it's not really gonna fill you up, but it's a nice treat for myself but now the treat comes really frequently. So, I have to work on budgeting, I just get really excited about being able to go there. I try to do that.

I'm like, "Why go to the supermarket?" You're getting this high-quality protein, and a lot of times people are looking at the date and they're getting scared, but to me I'm like, "Use your nose." If it smelt good to me, I'd try it, worse comes to worse,  if it doesn't work out, then, "Okay, we know it's not good." I was getting the beef, the ground chicken, they had pasta, I was making spaghetti like all the time, and  I can make that stretch a full week. The different snacks and stuff they had, I'm like, "Okay, I can bring these to work," and the kids will ask but I'll be like, "You already got your snack, this is Miss Brianna's snack." And, the kindness of the people working there kind of decreased that shame, or that feeling that I wasn't deserving of the university pantry and just the lack of judgment, they really just let you go in there, and you're like, "I'm not even here."

Yeah, so like growing up, my mom acknowledges this; she's not the best cook. I like her food, but she doesn't cook from scratch, and my grandma doesn't either. I've only started that myself, because I want to be able to. I've always enjoyed cooking, and I like cooking shows and other stuff like that. I’m no Gordon Ramsey or anything, but I always enjoy trying different recipes and just learning how to cook food because of situations like this where, "Okay, if somebody were to give me a radish and that's all they gave me, do I know what to do with that?" And so, with the university’s vegetables program, a lot of the stuff my line sister Yasmin brought back. She had beets in there, and like, I love Dwight Schrute… but I don't know nothing about cooking no beets. I've heard of a beet salad, but I wouldn't even know how to go about doing that. With that same struggle of not really being able to have food, it's also like you don't have the right kitchen utensils to even work with the food.

That's no excuse, 'cause obviously there's a shuttle, but in my brain, I was like “I'll just walk there and walk back.” So, I wasn't thinking like, "Oh, just take the shuttle there” and everything like that. Another big part of it was, I was kinda touching on it before, just feeling ashamed and guilty. "I don't wanna go there and see people I know, in both areas," but, you know, you come to find out, especially when I was going to the university pantry, I was seeing some of my friends there. It was just like, "Wow, I didn't even know, you utilize this." And she's like, "Yeah, girl, it really came in handy," and all this stuff. So, I didn't know, it was just this thing, a lot of students on campus were using it. People don't talk about it, they always talk about, "Hey, please donate to the university pantry," but nobody really opens up about using the university pantry.

I was thinking of, I can't remember, if another university already does this, it sounds familiar though, I feel like I read it somewhere, but businesses like Chick-fil-A and other stuff, "Would you like to round up dah, dah dah." Instead of rounding up like for people who have a meal plan, say they're going home and they already know they're not gonna use their meal swipes. It’d be cool if students had an option either on Grubhub or some external Opportunity University website to donate their meal swipes so, Opportunity’s not losing money, but you as a student can feel good knowing that you donated a meal to somebody. But you, as a person who needs that meal, now you can use that, and whether that be in the form of a physical voucher to eat on campus ‘cause I've seen those tickets, and they do that for admissions, for like group tours, when people come you get a free meal.

It's really just similar almost like the Blue Light Flow System, if they had different hubs on campus and a separate map of, "If you're hungry, come here, and there'll be food for you here, or at least snacks." I think, even for commuters they, I don't know if they still do this, but they had like Macaroni Monday's, and other stuff like that, and you could go and get food, but just so, people who either live on campus or off campus, who don't associate with whatever, can just have a common place to go.

So, I feel like in that regard that might be easier, but I meet so many people who have this meal plan, their parents are paying for that they don't use it, and it just baffles me. I'm like, "One, that's like, a total waste of money, but also like, in a way a waste of food," 'cause even a lot of times if I'm at the Student Center at the end of the night, I'm seeing all this food get wasted. For example, I know during events, if people don't finish the food it's paid for and catered it goes right in the garbage. There's so many students, even if you were to just wrap it up, take it downstairs, sit it on a table, or put it on the Student Center help desk. For students to kinda just grab and go, and be provided takeout containers, I feel like that would be super helpful. To even just stock safe places on campus like the Social Justice Office, they give out free toiletries and other stuff like that. I know it's a safe space for a lot of people on campus. So, they could even provide that office with snacks to give out to people, I feel like that would be helpful.

Now, for people who don't read the Opportunity University Announcer, I feel like overall just more signage or even educating the people that work at university pantry to tell people about this resource, kind of like how when you walk in the store and people are like, "Hey, by the way, there's a sale going on, and check out this rack." If someone could be like "We do have an opportunity for you to utilize a meal swipe if you need it." I think, a lot of the time, we just like to make the assumption that when there's any type of aid or help given you have to meet all these requirements, and getting specific and submitting paperwork, it's just one of those things where it's just needlessly intimidating. For me personally, it makes me feel intimidated to ask, 'cause I'm like, "Oh, my family's always fallen in the bracket of being too poor to afford this, but collectively you make too much to qualify for that." So, it was just one of those things, I always automatically assume that, "I'm not gonna qualify, or that I won't be able to use a resource." I feel like signage is always good and then having more, what is it called… departments being aware of it as well. Then they can articulate that to their students as well as to their employees. For example, even as a CA, even though you get X amount of meals, sometimes it, you know, it isn't enough. Sometimes on certain days, you need those three meals a day instead of just two because you get the 14 meal plan.

So it’s about making student employees more knowledgeable but, you know, I think, it would be something good for professors to know too, because I know of some students who are comfortable enough, or close enough with professors, to probably disclose that type of information, and if they don't know the resources, I don't know how helpful that could be.

Right now I just had a really bad issue with my back, and I couldn't walk, and I was just bedridden for a couple of days. I was confused about what that might be. I thought it might be associated with my menstrual cycle, 'cause that usually happens, but I was like, "This pain has never been this intense or lasted for this long." So, I've just been in and out of urgent cares, and I'm supposed to go the hospital today so that they can run some more tests and stuff, 'cause it's gotten slightly better, but I'm feeling like my left side is going numb, and I don't know what's going on. So, I'm in higher spirits, because I'm a little bit more mobile since the medicine they gave me, but my family wants to make sure that everything's okay. I don't wanna go, but it is what it is.