My name is Daniel. I'm an international student, and I come all the way from West Africa. I applied to Opportunity University and I came during the fall last year. I was admitted prior to that, but, due to the wait times and visa interview process in my country, I had to defer my admission, and finally I got here. I'm studying Molecular and Cellular Biology. I'm also taking a concentration in the Honors College here, at Opportunity University. I aspire to become a neurosurgeon. To me, neurosurgery is kind of intertwined with research, and I'm pretty much drawn to research, too. That was why I went for molecular and cellular biology instead of the biology major. There are still uncharted paths in neurosurgery that I feel that delving into it would be kind of like a discovery journey. So I feel more drawn to discover new things and also be able to help people while doing that. 

Coming here and having to navigate a new culture, I have to think about my food, and I have to think about my studies. It's just like putting two hands in the mouth, if that is possible, and kind of the financial aspect of it. I'm growing into a man so you don't expect my parents to send me the whole money for everything. I need to be able to sort myself out in some ways because I'm becoming an adult, and who I should be. I don't know about here, but where I come from, we were raised with this sense of, "Yes, we are there for you as parents, but at some point you need to start getting up." So, as opposed to when I was in secondary school–we call it secondary school but it's high school actually. As opposed to when I was in secondary school, when I do fully say l, "Oh, I need this, I need that, I need..." and it will all be given to me. But at this point, it's not that if I ask, I wouldn't be given, but that sense of I'm becoming an adult, so I should try to navigate some of my needs by myself without having to lean on people. 

So kind of trying to navigate that from my country–and it would have been easier if my parents were here–but I think that it has been quite a challenge seeing the economic recession back at home, and the high rate of money transfer and everything. So being able to navigate that, it has been quite telling. So I have been plagued with the necessity of finding a campus job here at Opportunity University and it took me a while, though I finally got one, but it's going to start by the fall.I feel that now is the time to really transition, because now we are in college. We are trying to navigate–I'm still a freshman. We're trying to navigate how things work in adult life. These are things that our parents at some point went through, too. I just prefer to take them on now so that when I'm out of college, I will no longer be transitioning. I would now be establishing my roots and trying to find my passion. My attention would be directed towards another thing. So I think now, for me, it's a time for me to fully understand who I am, face the challenges, fail, rise up again, and just keep on understanding my surroundings, keep on navigating the ways to solve problems. It's quite telling, but I think it's important for me. I mean, that's why sometimes I do not talk about my food insecurity--also considering the inflation in my country back at home and the conversion rates–so putting all that into consideration, I would just have to try to navigate my way through some of the difficulties that I'm facing.

Food really does connect you to home in the aspect of emotional bearing. So, the culture here is quite different from what we have back at home. We do have a community culture at home. Having to eat those foods, it tells a story, in my mind, about where I come from and it really connects me to, Maybe I was eating this food with some of my friends or my family members at dinner. It just reminds me of the whole thing and I think that really connects. Because sometimes I'll be talking to my mom and I'd say, "Oh, I ate this food today and I really felt good." At some point when academic stress, it all pulls you down, having to eat those cultural Nigerian foods, lays everything low for me. It reduces stress. So it's a good way for me to kind of get back home while I'm here. I would also say that I have an uncle here in the United States, where sometimes I do go to his place to stay. That has been quite helpful because when I get there, they understand. So they cook every Nigerian meal that I can imagine and I get to have that feeling of home again. I get to be with them. I get to discuss in native language with my uncle. I mean that's important. I just have to really connect. But as much as I do have my uncle here, I know that he also has things, and I really should be standing up to the things that are facing me to become a responsible, and civic individual.I must say, coming from my country and to a place of a new culture, it has become somewhat telling, in the sense that we have different food  from what has been presented here. 

So to me, I do not find everything American appealing, in as much as they are just different. Not only that they are not tasty or something, just that I was brought up with a different taste board. So I have different tastes in food based on where I come from, and here, there are not so many options for Nigerian food. Though there are general applications,  I feel that I've been impacted in a way that it's not quite easy to get Nigerian foods here. When you see them you see them at some stores called African stores. When you see them, they are not cheap. So you'd have to spend extra money, too, because they are being imported. You'd have to spend extra money to get those.

It's not like the African stores are all over the place. So there are specific places the African stores are. And currently, I am not quite mobile, in that I do not yet have a car. So it's kind of difficult trying to go there. You have some which take me 30 minutes to drive. If I have to book an Uber then that would also increase the cost to get food. As opposed to the conventional way of getting food, maybe at Walmart or nearby stores. I'd have to go the extra mile, pay extra money to be able to get to the food item that I really do want.  So the location also impacts the financial aspect of it because I'd have to go further and get the things I want. Also they're not always available in abundance. I mentioned before that I would have to also pay extra for the food items that are present because these foods were imported. So that also impacted the cost of the food items.

It was kind of emotional for me, the first time I had to use the university pantry. Having students pass by and you having to stand in the line, waiting for your turn to get in. At some point I just wanted to have a hood over my face before going in. It was really telling for me because at some point I would have to think, “okay, instead of going to class I'll come through another route and try to get into the university pantry and then go out and go home and then come back,” trying to avoid my classmates seeing me, in that sense.  At some point, I just had to embrace it. I had to tell myself that, "I just have to go through this phase now, that's not really going to be permanent." I had to remind myself of where I'm coming from, remind myself of where I want to be in the future, and really tell myself that I'm doing the right thing. I just have to endure and go through. I'm really grateful for the opportunity that Opportunity provided for having students who are challenged in this situation to have help in terms of having access to food items. I'm really grateful for that move. Because, I've not fully imagined what it would have been like were it not for the availability of these things. I might have found another option or thing, but it would be quite a struggle, having to fully integrate that too into my studies. 

So I'm having that contrast that, "Oh, okay. I'm the one using the university pantry. I'm the one having to go through the financial problems and financial issues to tackle. It's my burden to be here, but at some point it's kind of shameful for me.” I feel like I just have to endure and embrace it. So there's a point where I'd say, "Oh, this is, this is what I have to do." There was also a point where I'd say, "Oh, this, this is really shameful. Should I not revert? What should I do? How can I seek help?" But I mean, this balance I have to think, "Okay I'm being helped, but quite not the way I would want in a sense." If everything is to be applied to the way I want, then it's not going to be generally fair. So the balance between having to bear the burden and having to also at some point realize the shame, I think they both work for good because I have to realize, "Oh, I'm growing to an adult and I have to bear burdens." I'm also human with emotions too. So at some point it's kind of like a breakdown but I just have to come back up and face it.

I have used the university’s fresh food program before and it was really good. I really did not feel so ashamed while I used it because there were other people. I mean, there were cars in line waiting to have these fruits delivered to them. So it was kind of, general, for me. I had to see other people too. Americans, too. It was kind of a mix. So I was there, though I had to stay in line too, but I really did not feel so ashamed, maybe because I saw the other people of American descent, as opposed to just international students alone. So I think that mix made me feel like “okay, this is good.” 

IIt's revealing to talk about this, and it feels like a relief. Being able to share this information was hard for me, because I know that in some way it should be used for better things and to be able to understand what it's like to be able to face food insecurity from the perspective of an international student. I wouldn’t share otherwise, because it's, I think it's part of like a private experience. I would not tell everyone, "Oh yeah, I'm facing this. Oh yeah, this is what is happening. Oh yeah, this." You know, at some point I just have to not quite reveal everything to everyone, to give myself dignity and to keep myself from being accessed from that point of view. Most times, when you have this kind of issue, people quickly start to judge you from that perspective. It kind of deviates from what it should be. Because at this point it's not an experience that I have full control over. They judge you from what you don't have control over, as opposed to the superior judgment, which should be from what you have control over. So I would not like to share that openly to everyone because it kind of shields me from that aspect and lets people see me through the things I can't control. But it did feel relieving to talk about it here.