Demographics: Middle Eastern Female, International Student, PhD Student in Electrical Engineering

Tags: Electrical Engineering, PhD student, Food Insecurity, Culture Shock, Transportation, Financials, Depression

My name is Kelsey. I'm a PhD student at Opportunity University in Electrical Engineering, I'm the only girl in my family. I have three older brothers. I'm the last kid. I completed my bachelor's in Iran, and then I went to Germany for my master's studies. And then after getting my masters, I came here to America. It was all an adventure. Yeah. And the reason that I chose America –it was like my passion just to explore the world.

My experiences with food and security have impacted my time at Opportunity University. My first two semesters, when I just came to America – I didn't used to live here –I didn't know how to get used to this lifestyle, because before being in America. In Germany, and also in my country, Iran, we had, like, a good transportation system. You could easily take the bus, train and do your shopping, but here, it was a pain. If you don't have your own car, it means that you are disabled. And, I didn't know anybody in my community. That's why it was so hard for me. I wish that Opportunity University had some local transportation system –I know that there are some shuttle buses to the market, but it's limited, Wednesday and Fridays, I believe. I wish we had this because the town is like a big city. So I wish we had shuttles that circle around the campus to drop off students close to their home, or close to shopping centers. Yeah, I wish we had this. 

First semester, oh, my gosh, first semester… it was so tough. Another reason that made it super hard for me was my advisor. Because Prof. Jones was sick and he wasn't here. I mean, I reached out to him for the first four months. I knew nobody at the start. I didn't know where the office was, where everybody was. I, I didn't know. I mean, nobody told me where I should go; where can I see Prof. Jones, which floor. And nobody gave me a tour.

Also, getting vaccinated, it's mandatory for internationals and I don't know if it is for all students. And especially for those living on, or wanting to live on campus, indoors. I got vaccinated with just one shot in Germany, because based on German rule, if you have been affected by COVID before and you got just one shot of the vaccination, you are fully vaccinated. They gave me this document that I'm fully vaccinated, but Opportunity University didn't accept that. So they charged me. They fined me for $50 because I didn't show them the certificate, the fully vaccinated certificate. And I had to get my second shot here. And, imagine that I had all my savings finished, and it was $200. You are living here and you know that $200 is not an amount that you can keep up with, that you cannot live with that, right? And then, it was that time that I was living off eating beans for a few days in a row. And, at that time, they fined me for $50 and I sent an email to them asking if they could waive it, because $50 for me was a lot. I didn't want to, I don't know, I had this ego or whatever. I didn't want to explain to them that I'm in a hard situation. Um, it was so tough. I felt that I was in a dark jungle and there was no light. I was just walking in a jungle. And then accidentally, in one of my classes, I saw a person. So the professor asked us to make a group to work on a project, and the person in my group was working with the same advisor. I asked him, "Okay, what's your major?" He said, "Electrical Engineering." I was so surprised. "Oh, my gosh, you are Electrical Engineering. Where are, where is the department? Where are the others?" And he said, "I'm working with Dr. Jones.” And I said, "I am working with him. I have him, does he exist? I haven't seen him."

And then that person, Robert, helped me a lot. Robert, now, he is one of my best friends. He's American. I don't know what was my logic that time, they taught and told me when I was in Germany, they told me it's tough to find a friend in America. But Robert is my first friend and best friend. He gave me a tour, "This is Engineering Hall, this is our floor, this is clinic." After three or four months, Prof. Jones sent me an email. I started January 2022, and the first time that I saw and met my advisor in person, it was September. September 14th, or 15th.

My father told me, in the second month, my father asked me, "Are you sure that it's not a scam? Are you sure? Because you didn't see your - your advisor didn't show up. No one showed up." And, yeah, it was a time that I thought that it's a scam – I mean, my admission, my offer letter was a scam because nobody came... I don't know, I had nobody to reach out to. And they just told me to reach out to the one who is in charge of those contract stuff, although it took, like, three months.

I kept my situation to myself, not even telling my parents because I didn't want to disappoint them. I told them, "I'm going to America. American dream," and, um, I didn't want to disappoint them. So I kept it to myself. I didn't tell anybody about my hard situation. When I sent an email to the health center about my vaccination, they didn't respond to my email. So I went to the wellness center. The person, one of the nurses, or one of the people that are working in the wellness center, told me there is a food program that gives the students free food. A food bank. But the food bank, at that time, it was on Monday morning, which I had class. I couldn't skip my class. I never used the food bank. She also told me there is an Opportunity University food bank every week that has a program that gives students free vegetables and fruits called Fresh For All.

After that experience, I never used Fresh For All. I never went there. I left the dorm because it was expensive. I found a three-bedroom apartment and I rented just one bedroom. I have two roommates now. And it's the opposite side of the campus, like 30 minutes walking to Engineering Hall. It's my third year and, for these three years, I'm walking. Not every day, but like, I'm coming to the campus three or four days a week, and I have to walk 30 minutes. It's not feasible for me to walk 30 minutes to this fresh vegetable program. I didn't use that program again. I never used it again. That was the only time. And, when you have no friends, you know... I mean, I do have friends, but I'm not so close to them. I cannot ask them. I can ask a couple of times, but I cannot ask every day, every time that I need something. I have to ask people, "Can you give me a ride? Can you give me a ride?" And, yeah, but that's why I have to walk and it makes it harder.

For my family,  I just wanted to show them that I'm independent, I have a good life. I didn't want to disappoint them, because what can they do?  I would just make them worry about me. I didn't want to... And they are old. My mom is 70, my dad is 72, and they cannot do anything. And I couldn't go back to my country, so what's the point of telling them? So I just keep it a secret to myself.

During the summer, I felt the impact of transportation more. But now, I am used to it. I’m used to walking, but it limited my flexibility, I was just stuck at home and the office. I could not go anywhere. There were two semesters that I felt that... I had two tough semesters. One was that first semester. The other one is this semester. I was in a bad situation. School was tough, my personal life was tough, my relationship was tough, and then, I also didn't have proper insurance. The insurance I was given just covers the emergency, accident, and heart attack stuff. It doesn't cover anything or prescription stuff. So, I was suffering from this depression. I am now suffering from depression, severe depression, and I'm taking medication. I feel that I am stuck here; it limits my flexibility to go out, to socialize with people, especially during cold weather. So, my life is just home, office, home, office. It brings depression to me. Hopefully, after a month, in April, the weather will improve and then I can go out more, walk outside; I don't know, have outdoor activities.

Sometimes missing meals happen. For example, I didn't have milk or bread last week, and I skipped all breakfast meals. And then I had to come here for my clinic classes. And then, I remember my advisor asked me, "Have you eaten?" because he wanted to have lunch, and he said, "Is it okay that I have lunch when I'm meeting with you?" And I said, "Yeah, totally." And he said to me, "You can have your lunch if you want," and I said, "No, actually." I didn't want to pay $7 for a small bagel here. Sometimes it's tough. Sometimes, I run out of food, but I'm alive and thankful.

Last year in January or February, I only had one bank account, and they blocked my bank account because of international sanctions. Again, I had no money for a month, and I asked my friends to see if they could pay for my rent and everything. And I asked them to borrow some cash. After a month of waiting on the bank. They didn't give me any answer. They just told me, "Wait, wait. We will fix it." If they told me, from the first day, "Your, uh, bank account is blocked because of sanction," so I could figure it out for myself, it would have been better. But they used to tell me, "Wait. We will fix it." So for a month, again, I had no money. And then, after a month, they told me, "Okay, you can now close your account." They didn't let me even close my account at first. After a month, they let me close it, and then I opened another bank account.

To change things, if I were the University President, fixing transportation would be my main priority. I have an Iranian friend from another university who told me, "We had this shuttle, The driver drives nonstop, driving all around the campus in a circle.” So, if I were President, I would change the shuttle system to something that eases students' lives because we have many international students here, and it's not feasible for any student. They need time to get used to the American lifestyle, and they need time to save money, to buy a car, to build their life. The shuttle idea would help them a lot.

I used to live with undergrad students, and there was a girl—they were Native American—and she worked at this coffee shop. The days that she brought us leftover cookies from the coffee shop, those days were my happy days. I was waiting for that time, end-of-the-week cookies. I almost forgot those memories telling this story, I recall all those memories. I try to be thankful now. I try to be thankful. I passed all those tough days.